A Wedding And A Funeral
by The Character's Death
Summary: "Never again. Never again would he open up his heart. Be hurt. Feel. Never. His heart had died with the decision hers had made. There was nothing left." Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket...and wished to Hell I owned Yuki Sohma. *Oneshot/Complete*


**A/N: Okay! Featured lyrics in this chapter are from the song "The Waiting One" by All That Remains. Turn the speakers up…and let it bleed out!**

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Silence filled the room as he stumbled in. He _could_ have blamed it on the celebration and merriment of the blissful event…but…he was the only one who _wasn't_ celebrating. Not today. He needed to feel nothing…he wanted to be numb. After everything he had been through…he desperately wished to just fade away into a drunken stupor. The pain was just too great. He focused on the silence, finally finding a space not occupied by people as he took another drink from the bottle in his hand.

_I am the waiting one it seems…_

I am the waiting one it seems  
Days grow somber quickly  
Now how the quiet is release  
And I feel so lonely

His lavender gaze took in the white dress hanging in the corner of the room, and he openly cursed himself for managing to find the one room _she_ had clearly been in. A pained expression crossed his face as he finally took a seat in the vanity…defeated…taking in his reflection as he set the bottle down on the vanity desk. He couldn't even recognize his own face anymore. How had it come to this? Why did he feel so…so _used_? After everything they had been through together…even after he had admitted that he loved her. And still…she had gone through with it. She had seen fit to spend her life with another. With…_him_. Feeling no sense of release from the bottle next to him, he spied a blank piece of paper on the vanity…and an idea finally came to him. Searching for a pen, he finally found what he was looking for, and set to work. Laying pen to paper, he began to write…spilling forth his feelings in thick, black ink in a last attempt at finding solace.

How did you think I would feel?  
Throw me aside again  
How did you think I would feel?  
Won't let you hurt me again now

Taking another drink from the bottle to further numb himself, memories of the day flooded his mind as he continued to write. The bitterness he felt coursed through his veins into the pen as he began to realize his situation. He was nothing. He had been pushed to the side. Discarded…like garbage. Used up. By _both_ of them. Because…in the end…they had _both_ known how he felt. Yet they had seen fit to include him in all of this…and he doubted that either one of them understood how cruel this really was. Or was it that they simply didn't care. His expression contorted in pained anger as he thought about this. They didn't even care.

Nothing to you I can see  
Just walk away from me  
I'm torn apart I can't believe  
Sat and watched me bleed

He remembered. Remembered walking her down the aisle…because she had asked him to…because she had said there was no one else. Giving her away…to _him_. How beautiful she had looked. How much he had wanted her. How he imagined himself with her as he danced with her at the reception…that he was the one she really wanted. Holding her so close… Holding them together as they spun around the dance floor…as his life spun out of control. Her smell…all of these memories crashed in on him, feeding his anger as he continued to write the note.

She was the one thing I believed  
That I needed to hold me  
Still I can smell her hear her breath  
Feel her body beside me

He had waited for her. Had hoped. Hoped that she would change her mind. That she would choose him instead. But that had never happened. His eyes drifted from the white of the paper to the fabric of her dress once again. A small…empty smile twitched at the corner of his lips as he imagined her thin figure slipping out of all of that fabric, the bottle meeting his lips again. It was done. There was no turning back. She had made her choice…and the agonizing realization hit him that it had _never _included him. He had been left behind.

How long I've waited, waited for you  
To come back to hold me  
What should I, what should I,  
What should I do?  
When I feel so lonely

Continuing to write his note, rage began to surge through his body as the pen dug deeper into the paper. He had done everything. Every action he had ever doe was for _her_. Every word. Every deed. He had become the person _she_ had wanted him to be. Stronger. More self-confident and outgoing. He had even gone as far as to show a level of warmth and kindness towards…_him_. Because _she_ had never like it when they fought. And she had just thrown it all in his face without a second thought…when she chose…_him_. This unhinged rage guided his words as he continued to pour out his feelings.

How could you do this to me?  
Betrayed by my closest friend  
How could you do this to me?  
Won't let you hurt me again now

Never again. Never again would he open up his heart. Be hurt. Feel. Never. His heart had died with the decision hers had made. There was nothing left. He had been forced to watch her turn her back and walk away with _him…_down the aisle as his wife. She never even looked back. Not even once. The day their lives had been joined… It was the day his life had ended.

Nothing to you I can see  
Just walk away from me  
I'm torn apart I can't believe  
You sat and watched me bleed

Tears escaped him, falling and blurring the words he wrote. Emotions he didn't want to feel forced themselves on him…ravaging and raping his heart as he felt it constrict in conflict. He still loved her…even now…even as he hated her. Hated _both_ of them. Another sob escaped his lips as confusion and chaos washed over him. One question lingered in his mind as he took another sip from the bottle… What now? What was he to do now? Close to the bottom of the bottle…and the answers still eluded him.

What should I,  
What should I do?  
Oh how long I have waited  
What can I,  
What can I do?  
When I feel so lonely

Rage flooded his system as he stood from his seat, knocking the chair over. Grabbing the chair he threw it to the wall as it splintered into pieces. Unsatisfied by this destruction he grabbed the bottle from the vanity desk and sent it into the mirror as the sound of shattering glass on glass filled the room…like music to his broken heart. His reflection was completely demolished as shards of glass rained down on the desk…on the floor…on his note. Feeling his knees give out on him, he collapsed to the floor as he began to sob. One thought kept penetrating his thoughts. Stabbing at his heart. She didn't care. _He_ sure as hell didn't care. No one cared. No one…

How did you think I would feel?  
You throw me aside again  
How did you think I would feel?  
Won't let you hurt me again now

He finally understood. Understood what he needed to do. Really…it was the only choice. They couldn't really expect him to go on this way. Not like this. A walking corpse. Living…breathing…but having no being. A certain level of peace washed over him as he came to terms with his decision. A slow sigh escaped his lips as he reveled in the silence again. Silence… No sound… Nothing. The thought was _so_ appealing. A siren of calamity calling to him. And how beautiful that song was to him now.

Nothing to you I can see  
Just walk away from me  
I'm torn apart I can't believe  
Sat and watched me bleed

Grabbing a shard of glass from the floor a drunken smile graced his lips. The glass cut into the flesh of his palm, drawing blood as it began to drip onto the floor around him. He marveled at the fact that he couldn't feel anything. Nothing. The pain that should have been present was strangely absent as he squeezed the shard of glass even tighter in his hand…blood pouring forth and dripping down from the glass. Digging the stained glass into the flesh of his wrist more blood poured forth…but still. Still he felt nothing. Laughter escaped his lips as he took the glass to his wrist again. His wish had finally been granted. He felt nothing. The smile on his face began to broaden as he took in the sight of his handy work. Blood was everywhere now. On his suit. On the floor. Everywhere. A beautiful mess. His gift…to her.

How could you do this to me?

_How could you do this to me?_  
Betrayed by my closest friend

_My closest friend_  
How could you do this to me?

_To me_  
I won't let you hurt me again

Finally coming to his feet, his head spun wildly, causing his stomach to lurch. Nausea swept over him as he fought the urge to vomit. Bracing himself against the nearby wall, blood stained and smeared the surface in the shape of his hand as he finally pushed himself off the wall. His vision blurred and finally focused on her dress. The fabric looked so soft and inviting…he needed to touch it. To remember exactly how it had felt. How it had felt when he held her. Stumbling over to the dress he grasped it in his hands…his grip feeling so weak.

Taking the dress he gently put it to his face, taking in its scent. He marveled at how it smelled just like her. Another tear trailed down his cheek as he wiped it away, leaving a streak of blood across his pale skin. The last. The last he would ever shed for her. No more. No more would he feel. For her. Feeling the weakness in his limps grow, his legs finally gave way as he collapsed…leaving a trail of blood on the dress as he slid to the floor below. His breath came in shallow gasps as he lay on the floor…feeling darkness crowd out his vision. The sight of white spoiled and stained red the last thing he saw as a slow smile crept across his blue lips. Finally…he felt nothing. He was truly free. No longer waiting for her…

I am the waiting one it seems...

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**A/N: My own personal rant on Natsuki Takaya's cannon KyoXTohru pairing...? ...perhaps...**


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